Slowly I Turned


Hi Pal!

You called me pal?
Well I haven’t heard that word in years. You know, I was once a bum like you. Ah, but it wasn’t always thus. I could look back to the days of yor’ when I was a very happy married man, and one day that rat came and destroyed forever of all the happiness I’ve ever known. I’ll never forget that day. I just came home from the graveyard-shift, and there was her note on the pillow. It was one of those cold-blooded notes. Dear Moe, I’m running away with Larry. I was obsessed with the idea that I must find him. The trail led me to Pittsburgh. I found that I missed him by three days when I got there, and I swore right there in Pittsburgh that I’d find him and have my revenge!
Now, on with the chase! Miami, Dallas, New Orleans, then i came face to face with the rat that had ruined my life.

It was in Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls! Slooowly I Turned. Step by Step. Inch by Inch. I walked up to him and smashed him, I hit him, I punched him, stabbed him, I poked his eyes out, I ripped his shirt off, then I knocked him down to the ground.
Excuse me kid, it’s the word Niagara Falls, every time I hear it, it tares me apart.
Ohh, that woman, I’ll kill her. And him. but, AHHHH RIVERS OF BLOOD! POOLS OF BLOOD! AHHH THE BLOOD!!


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